Our conference season did not start out the way we had
hoped. We lost each of our first three games. What is worse is that each game
was decided by two points or less at the end of regulation.
0-3…
In a conference as evenly balanced as the Big South, we knew
we had dug ourselves a hole. For those who aren’t as familiar with the daily
ins-and-outs of an athletic office, it’s not a very happy place to be during a
losing streak. All coaches are trying to pinpoint what went wrong, why it went
wrong, and how to change it.
One assignment given to me during this streak was to
research different methods of obtaining success. Many things I came across were
helpful, but one idea struck a chord. And it is an idea that isn’t something complex and profound, but rather simple. It is something we lose sight of from time to
time.
Everyone, at some point in their lifetime, will come across
an event they consider “life-changing.” It could be something positive; a
marriage, a new job, new friends, moving to a new town, or could be as disheartening
as a break-up, an injury, or the death of a loved one.
What many fail to realize is that each event in our lives is
only one part of an equation that will shape how large or small of an impact
that event will leave on our life. The other part of the equation is how we
react to the event. There isn’t a cookie-cutter response to any given event. We
all react in different ways, given our past experiences and which values we
hold in higher regard.
The equation is simple:
Events + Responses = Outcome
Simple enough? And nothing you haven’t thought about at one
point or another, I’m sure. But the gravity of the consequences can be….wait
for it…life-changing. Sometimes we conveniently remove ourselves from the
equation. We think that events directly cause the outcome of a given situation.
We all have heard someone explain their situation…
“Well, I was destined to play college ball, but I had an
injury.”
“I invested well and things were looking great, but the
stock market crashed.”
“We would have won that game, but it was raining.”
People choose to blame the event. They refuse to shoulder
any of the blame for how their life’s events unfold. I cannot imagine how scary
life would be if I thought that a singular event could, at any moment, cause me
to be unsuccessful in life. Every event, good or bad, needs your response in
order to become complete. Removing yourself from the equation is simply a
non-response, and dangerous to a positive outcome.
I do not mean to disparage those who continually have events
out of their control. Mitigating factors do exist, and they are impactful. But
if your response did not matter, then no one would be successful. Everyone
faces problems in their life.
The deciding factor in success is not the external
conditions and circumstances. It’s how you choose to respond. If you do not
like your current condition, change your response. Some events cannot be
changed and will always need to be dealt with (disease, death of loved ones,
job loss), but they will not define you if you do not allow.
You can change your thinking, change your communication, change
the pictures you hold in your head (your images of the world) and you can
change your behavior (the things you do). These are the only things we can
control each and every day. Control what you can control, don’t let the rest
consume you.
You have to gain control of your thoughts, your images, your
dreams, daydreams, and your behavior. Everything you think, say and do need to
become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values and your goals.
We started growing as a team when everyone began to gain
control of their daily habits. Not just the players, but the staff as well. We
had a positive reaction to the events of our daily lives and we are now getting
the results we desire. We have won 7 games in a row, and if we win on Tuesday,
we will be sitting in first place. From 0-3 to first place. Even if we don’t,
we will not let that event define us, and we will change our behaviors until we
achieve the outcome we desire.
