Year 6: Let Go

In the past couple weeks I've gone back and forth about whether or not I should post about the recent events in my coaching career. But ultimately I decided it would be disingenuous to only show the positives of my coaching journey and not the "warts," if you will. Also, a couple of you have started to hear online or through others, so hopefully this will cut down on the texts and calls a bit.

About a month ago, in a meeting with our head coach, I was told that myself a some others would be relieved of our duties at Radford University. He rattled off his reasoning behind it, and I, of course, disagreed. But only one of us had the final decision, and it was not me. I sat there in his office, completely shocked at what was taking place. I went back and forth, on one hand I wanted him to know why his opinion was wrong, and on the other hand I wanted to get out of the office completely. It was embarrassing, it was humbling, it was probably the best thing that could've happened to me.

For the first couple hours, I didn't know how to go about dealing with the termination. Eventually, I sat down and contacted each of our players to let them know. Up to that point, I felt like I was on an island, that I had done a bad job somehow (despite a great review months earlier), and that his opinion was correct. When the players started to respond with shock and an outpouring of thanks and gratitude for the job I had done, I was able to unload a little of the embarrassment I felt in being let go. I began to think about what I could have done differently and what went wrong, and the more I thought about it, the more proud I was of the work I had done. I developed great relationships with our players, serving as a liaison between the head coach and the needs/wants of the players. I was able to broaden my skill with video editing and film breakdown. My ideas were welcome and useful during staff meetings, something for which I will forever be grateful to our head coach.

I was able to tell the athletic department staff in the next few weeks that I had been let go, and each of them expressed similar shock in my termination. Their shock, in a weird way, put me at ease. They each went out of their way to let me know they appreciated my work and the relationships we had built in the last 2 years. I will always be thankful to those people who helped me get through the last 2 weeks I had to work there with some dignity.

My main goals in the coming weeks (besides finding a JOB!) will be to take a step back, evaluate where I need work, identify someone or some group that does that skill well and try to learn from them.

Above that though, I need to find some time for myself to do some things outside of basketball. I will go to some concerts, travel a bit, meet up with family and friends and gain back a sense of identity outside of my career. Losing yourself in your work, while a desirable trait among employers, has a tendency to wear down your body and mind without a balance when the work is done. And so, with regards to Radford University, my work is done. I will find somewhere I can flourish in and out of the office, apply what I have learned and attack with a renewed sense of self and an ever-present love of the game and those whom I get to work with.

I look forward to the next challenge. Do not feel sorry for me or apologize that it happened, I'm happy with and proud of the work I did at Radford! At the end of the day, I can hang my hat on the fact that I worked hard and improved the lives of those around me, while enjoying a great amount of success.

So now it is time for ME to let go of Radford. Move on and enjoy the rest of my career and my life in general. As always I am thankful to the family and friends who have helped in supporting me along the journey, and I am excited to see what city (or country) I will end up in next!!

Year 5: The Causation Equation

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Our conference season did not start out the way we had hoped. We lost each of our first three games. What is worse is that each game was decided by two points or less at the end of regulation.

0-3…

In a conference as evenly balanced as the Big South, we knew we had dug ourselves a hole. For those who aren’t as familiar with the daily ins-and-outs of an athletic office, it’s not a very happy place to be during a losing streak. All coaches are trying to pinpoint what went wrong, why it went wrong, and how to change it.

One assignment given to me during this streak was to research different methods of obtaining success. Many things I came across were helpful, but one idea struck a chord. And it is an idea that isn’t something complex and profound, but rather simple. It is something we lose sight of from time to time.

Everyone, at some point in their lifetime, will come across an event they consider “life-changing.” It could be something positive; a marriage, a new job, new friends, moving to a new town, or could be as disheartening as a break-up, an injury, or the death of a loved one.

What many fail to realize is that each event in our lives is only one part of an equation that will shape how large or small of an impact that event will leave on our life. The other part of the equation is how we react to the event. There isn’t a cookie-cutter response to any given event. We all react in different ways, given our past experiences and which values we hold in higher regard.

The equation is simple:

Events + Responses = Outcome

Simple enough? And nothing you haven’t thought about at one point or another, I’m sure. But the gravity of the consequences can be….wait for it…life-changing. Sometimes we conveniently remove ourselves from the equation. We think that events directly cause the outcome of a given situation. We all have heard someone explain their situation…

“Well, I was destined to play college ball, but I had an injury.”

“I invested well and things were looking great, but the stock market crashed.”

“We would have won that game, but it was raining.”

People choose to blame the event. They refuse to shoulder any of the blame for how their life’s events unfold. I cannot imagine how scary life would be if I thought that a singular event could, at any moment, cause me to be unsuccessful in life. Every event, good or bad, needs your response in order to become complete. Removing yourself from the equation is simply a non-response, and dangerous to a positive outcome.

I do not mean to disparage those who continually have events out of their control. Mitigating factors do exist, and they are impactful. But if your response did not matter, then no one would be successful. Everyone faces problems in their life.

The deciding factor in success is not the external conditions and circumstances. It’s how you choose to respond. If you do not like your current condition, change your response. Some events cannot be changed and will always need to be dealt with (disease, death of loved ones, job loss), but they will not define you if you do not allow.

You can change your thinking, change your communication, change the pictures you hold in your head (your images of the world) and you can change your behavior (the things you do). These are the only things we can control each and every day. Control what you can control, don’t let the rest consume you.

You have to gain control of your thoughts, your images, your dreams, daydreams, and your behavior. Everything you think, say and do need to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values and your goals.

We started growing as a team when everyone began to gain control of their daily habits. Not just the players, but the staff as well. We had a positive reaction to the events of our daily lives and we are now getting the results we desire. We have won 7 games in a row, and if we win on Tuesday, we will be sitting in first place. From 0-3 to first place. Even if we don’t, we will not let that event define us, and we will change our behaviors until we achieve the outcome we desire.

One person, and one person only, controls your destiny.  That person will either hold you down and give you excuses for why things are the way they are, or that person will adapt and learn how to be successful against the odds.

Year 5: Wins, Losses...and Losses

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“Success” in the coaching world is relative. Many outsiders compare and contrast coaches based on their win-loss record, or how many championships they won. Others, especially in the college ranks, are judged on how many kids they graduate or send to the pros. Every coach is judged by someone’s view of what “success” really means.

Some of the widely-regarded greatest coaches of all-time have staggering numbers to look at:

Mike Krzyzewski – 938 wins, 306 losses…4 National Championships

Bobby Knight – 902 wins, 371 losses…3 National Championships

John Wooden – 664 wins, 162 losses…10 National Championships (7 in a row)

Pat Summitt – 1,098 wins, 208 losses…8 National Championships

Geno Auriemma – 879 wins, 133 losses…9 National Championships

Greg Popovich – 967 wins, 443 losses…5 NBA Championships

Phil Jackson – 1,155 wins, 485 losses…11 NBA Championships

As honorable as those numbers are, does it really tell who has been the most successful?

What if success as a coach is defined as:

-       Helping players reach their goals

-       Staying positive, even in the most dire of situations

-       Genuinely caring for all of the people who surround you

-       Loyalty to those who help you

-       Empathy for those in need

These are the qualities that need to be praised, and if we can agree these are the most successful, then the race to find the most successful coach is not even close.

I moved to Akron in 2010, in search of jump-starting a career in college basketball. I was excited to learn from Lebron James’ high school coach, Keith Dambrot. I spent two years there, but over time I had grown close to the Director of Basketball Operations, Dan Peters. “Coach Pete,” as he was referred to by everyone, had seen every level of college basketball from seemingly every position. He had been a head coach at Youngstown State, an assistant at Cincinnati under Bob Huggins, an assistant at Ohio State under Thad Matta, and now the DOBO at Akron.

We used to argue about politics…a lot. He was the hard-line conservative to my liberal. He vowed to move to Canada if Barack Obama was elected President. It would be the only promise he didn’t keep. Through all the discussions, right or wrong, you could sense his passion to affect change and help others. He came to work every day serious enough to instill discipline, but lighthearted enough to let you know that nothing is that serious. He attacked every single day with a smile and a hello to everyone he would meet.

Coach Pete cared genuinely about the lives of his players. Unfortunately, the rules from the NCAA about the Director of Operations position makes it harder for those in that role to foster relationships with players. However, Coach Pete had great relationships with all of his players because he took time to speak with them about their lives outside of basketball. He wanted them to succeed. He wanted them to be great businessmen, doctors, lawyers, fathers, and husbands.

When I left Akron in 2012, I packed my car with my things as much as it would hold. I had to leave some things behind, thinking I would have to sell my furniture and my bed. Coach Pete wouldn’t allow that, he told me to put my things in his garage, and when I got a new job I could come get them. I kept my things in his garage for over a year, and he never asked for any kind of payment. He knew I was in need, and didn’t want anything in return.

Late in 2013, Coach Pete was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I had moved on as assistant coach at Guilford College, and the news reached around the college basketball world. Suddenly, those whose lives he touched (and many who never got the chance to get to know him) began a campaign to raise awareness for pancreatic cancer. Purple Ribbons with the slogan “4 Pete’s Sake” dotted the lapels and shirts of coaches and players around the nation.

I was fortunate enough to get to speak to Coach Pete on the phone a couple times during his battle. One of the most memorable times was his first day at home alone after his wife, Nancy, had returned to work during his chemo treatment. We talked for just under an hour about his experience, the outpouring of support from friends and rivals, the books he was reading, as he had to stay close to his bed, and…politics.

I continued my journey, wearing a purple ribbon to finish the season at Guilford, carrying a small piece of him with me as I went. A couple weeks ago, I was offered a job at Radford University and have spent the past few days trying to transition a move back into Division I athletics.

And so, on my first official day as Assistant Director of Basketball Operations at Radford University, I received a phone call from Coach Pete’s son, Danny. He called to tell me his father had passed early in the morning, ending his year-long battle with cancer. Apparently, as Danny explained to me, Coach Peters had written a list of people to contact after he passed to let them know. Being included among this list will remain the greatest honor of my young coaching career.

In my new job, I will face many challenges, one of which is the battle in a limited role to have a positive impact on the lives of the players in our program. But I have been given a blueprint, a map to show me that not only can it be done, but it can be done at a high level, despite many challenges. And if times get tougher in my life (I’ve had it pretty easy to date), I know that I can still be positive and happy about where I am and what I’ve accomplished. As long as my “success” is measured in terms of the lives you impact.

Coach Dan Peters’ official record as a coach is littered with awards, “Coach of the Years”, championships and wins. But Coach Pete won the game of life every single day, and for that the only real stat is that he has 60 years worth of wins, and the only loss is the one felt today by those who knew him.

Year 4: Up All Night To Get Lucky

“Luck? I don’t know anything about luck. I’ve never banked on it, and I’m afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work – and realizing what is opportunity and what isn’t.”

 – Lucille Ball

Before you categorize this article as an ode to the scandalous actions that take place after dark and ONLY after marriage in a loving home (hat tip: Daft Punk), I’d like to make it clear that I’m speaking of a different kind of “luck,” if such a thing exists outside of the lottery. The sports world has always had a fascination with the notion of luck. One team gets “lucky” and wins, the other just had “bad luck” and walked away losers. This, somehow, has become an acceptable form of explaining the outcome of sporting events. As to not sit on a high horse, I should disclose that I’ve been guilty of using luck to explain how things transpired in a competition. Whether it was coach-speak or I believed it, I was a perpetrator and not an officer of the law in this case.

One of the most common practices in our culture is to tell someone who has an event drawing near, “good luck.”

“Good luck on your test today!”

“Hey man, good luck in the game tonight!”

“Good luck with your job interview. You’ll do great, I’m sure!”

“You bought your wife a half-eaten box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day?! …Good luck!”

Luck insinuates that you haven’t done the preparation necessary to be successful in your opportunity; that you need to rely on some power that deals out “luck” to some but not to others (a “luck fairy” if you will). Preparation for, and recognition of, opportunities are the only way to make sure the Luck Fairy sprinkles her Luck Dust¹ upon you when you need it most.

Hey, I get it. People only mean well when they wish you luck. It means they care. “Good luck,” is a universal phrase meant to convey that you are hoping that person does well in their craft. I understand. My thoughts aren’t directed at those who use the phrase as much as it is to those who believe it. You cannot bank on luck. You have to do the work necessary to perform a task, as you won’t walk blindly into success. What you’ll find is that if you do the work before your opportunity arrives, “luck” will have found you.

Last season, I coached a team that went 4-21. This season, I coached a team that went 17-8 and finished 3rd place in the same conference as last season’s 12^th place finish. I’d like to say it was due to our staff’s ability to come up with the right play or say the right thing, but it is really a credit to how our players prepared themselves for their moment. Their skill development, conditioning level, and their attention to detail all played major roles in their success. Want proof?

In 25 games this season, we played in 12 games where the final score was decided by 9 points or less. In those 12 games, we went 11-1 (including 2-0 when the game went to overtime). That’s the difference between our 17-8 season and a “bad luck” season of 6-19; that’s a HUGE difference!

So, as a coach, what do we do to facilitate these opportunities? We watch countless hours of film, looking for correctable deficiencies in our players, and exploitable tendencies in our opponents. We spend hours each week coming up with plans for practice to help correct our problems. We spend the bulk of our time on the road recruiting players who (hopefully) have strengths where we need to be stronger. When we get home at 1am from a long road trip, when everyone else has gone to sleep, we download, upload, cut, merge, watch and clip film so we can watch film with our players the next day. The only time I’ve ever dared to count the amount of hours we worked in a week it was 101 hours (we didn’t even get any Dalmations!). Regular are the nights where I see the strike of midnight from the confines of my desk or the open road returning from a recruiting trip.

We, quite literally, stay up all night…just to get “lucky”.

¹ – “Luck Dust” can be bought at your local Target. It only costs your credit card information and your first-born child. Batteries sold separately.

Year 4: ~1.53% and Beating the Odds

"In the back of my mind, I can never forget this could be gone tomorrow - and at this point I think the odds are against me... the chances of succeeding in this business are slim to none; there's only a handful of people that have long careers. You have to put in the work, you can never be satisfied, never take it for granted."

- Zac Efron


Coaches who have ever spent any amount of time looking for a job (i.e. all of them), know just how hard it is to get in the door, but many of them know it is equally as hard to keep that door open. I'm not a big Zac Efron fan, as I'm not a 14-year-old girl, but the quote makes a lot of sense with regards to coaching, as I'm sure it does in many other walks of life as well. 

My first two job searches were long, drawn out events that made me intolerable to be around. Rejection after rejection, many times having nothing to do with qualifications or a good fit. So this spring I decided I wouldn't actively chase jobs. If a school approached me, I would listen, and then weigh my options. Even coming off of a disappointing season, I was comfortable making a return to Emory & Henry. I love the players there, I loved the people I worked with, it was close to home, and I truly feel they can win there. Our head coach stepped down, and I applied for the head coaching position, knowing it to be a long shot. I made the initial cut from over 100 down to 30, and I'm unsure where I stood on that list, but I did not wind up getting the job...not totally unsuspected.

During the waiting period on that job, though, I was contacted by a college to come in and interview. They had heard about me from two different sources and wanted to bring me in. I went in for the interview, I liked the head coach, the area seemed nice, I was enjoying myself. Towards the end of the interview, however, the coach decided to explain to me just how hard it was to make it in this business. He basically urged me to get out while I still could. The scary thing was he actually made some compelling arguments. 

I left the interview feeling uneasy, but saw that I had a voicemail. The message was from a different school wanting me to interview. This school, Guilford College, had been a school I really liked while getting to know the schools in our conference. Guilford has been to 2 Final Fours in the last 7 years. They have had 2 National Players of the Year. They have sent multiple players overseas to play professionally, and even had one player who had a tryout with the Los Angeles Lakers and is still currently in the NBA Developmental League. It is a great program in a city environment (Greensboro, NC), that is also home to four other colleges/universities. I can be surrounded by people my age, in a city environment while winning games at a high level...oh, and it pays more than my previous job? Yeah...I want this job.

I go into the interview hoping to impress. I find out I like the people I would be working with, and really like the area. I am unsure of their interest in me, however, as many people would like to have this job. I leave the interview to head back home not knowing how things would turn out. As I'm sitting in my car, plugging my home address into my GPS, I get a tap on my window. It is coach Palombo, the head coach, and he asks me to think about accepting the position on my way home. I was floored. It is a three-and-a-half hour drive home. I only took one hour of that to call my inner circle before accepting the job. My "search" was done...in May, no less!

I've had a great summer recruiting for Guilford, but that experience will be for my next blog. For now, I wanted to concentrate on beating the odds...

One of the questions I get asked a lot in interviews is, "where do you see yourself in (x amount of) years?" My reply is always some variation of being on a staff at the Division 1 level. The subsequent question is always, "why Division 1?" That question is a little tougher, but my answer is that I want to compete at the highest level, and for college basketball, Division 1 is the king of the mountain.

I'm not alone in this dream. Many others just like me have the same dream. They work hard, they network, just like me. They've tried to put themselves in a position to succeed and move to the next level, just like me. So what sets apart those who are at the D1 level from those wishing to get there? Well, outside of more experience being at that level, not much really.

Now, I'm not naive enough to think that if a kid named Mike Krzyzewski Jr. wanted to be a coach, that he would have the same amount of odds as Joe Normalguy. This is seen in the fact that Richard Pitino Jr. went from Manager to Head Coach at the D1 level in 7 years. That just won't ever happen for ol' Joe.

So some have greater odds than others, but for the majority of coaches in this business, it all comes down to a lucky break, and then how you've prepared yourself for that break, and/or your ability to put yourself in positions where lucky breaks are more likely to happen.

Thinking on this, I decided to do a little research in May on what exactly the odds are that I'll end up as an assistant at the D1 level as well as a head coach. It should be noted that many of the statistics needed to get an exact number are not available to me, so I will do my best to try and note where I've taken some liberty with what the correct statistic would be. Regardless, the number won't be too far off from what it would be if the statistics were available.

So here are some concrete statistics:

There are 340 Division 1 schools.
There are 312 Division 2 schools.
There are 442 Division 3 schools.
There are 251 NAIA schools.
There are 444 (recognized) Junior College schools.

Each of these schools has exactly 1 Head Coach, so there are 1,789 coaches at least who are potentially looking to be Division 1 HC's or trying to keep their current HC job.

Division 1 schools typically have 3 assistant coaches and a Director of Basketball Operations. Some schools have Directors of Player Personnel and things of that nature but they are much harder to track. So for the sake of being fair to poorer schools, I will say Division 1 has an average of 3.5 "non-head-coach coaches" per school. At 340 schools, this means there are 1,190 assistant positions available at the D1 level, and 1,530 positions when you include head coaches.

Division 2 schools average about 3 coaches on their basketball staff including head coaches.
Division 3, NAIA and Junior College schools average about 2.5 coaches on their basketball staff including head coaches. 

Most Division 1, and some lower level schools have Graduate Assistants and Managers. Some of them only want school paid for and do not have the desire to become a coach, but many do, so this number will skew the results as it would be impossible to figure out how many of them want to move up.

If you were to take the positions available from all of these levels, this would give you a pool of  11,917 coaches for 340 coaching jobs as a Head Coach and 1,530 total at the Division 1 level. This leaves the percentages from that fact alone at:

Odds to become a Division 1 Head Coach: 1 out of 35 (2.85%)
Odds to become a Division 1 Assistant Coach: 1 out of 8 (12.5%)

Then you add in that it will take the typical coach around 10 years to become qualified for a head coaching position and by then you have added ~10,093 more graduate assistants and managers to the pool, while the current ones have moved up a level as well.

This number would push the percentages down to:

Assistant Coach: 1 out of 14 (7%)
Head Coach: 1 out of 65 (1.53%)

So there it is...all things equal, I have a 1.53% chance of becoming a Division 1 Head Coach. There are things I have in my corner that push that percentage up a little (I've had 6 years of experience and contacts at the Division 1 level already), but that is a pretty good estimate. None of this takes into account the number of high school coaches, AAU coaches and people who work with recruiting services who are trying to get their foot in the door as well.

Some sobering statistics:

Odds of dying of heart disease: 1 in 5 (20%)
Odds of dying of cancer: 1 in 7 (14.2%)
Odds of dying of a stroke: 1 in 23 (4.3%)
Odds of it raining today: 1 in 2 (50%) 
Odds of Alex Rodriguez taking steroids: 2 in 1 (200%)

It should be noted that I have a higher chance of dying of a cancerous stroke than I do of becoming a Head Coach at the Division 1 level. I bring this up not to say that I have given up on the dream, or that others should give up (though, that would increase my chances... #GiveUp), but rather to show you just how big of an accomplishment it is for those who have made it to that level, and how much of a thrill it will be when I finally make it myself.

Statistics many times give us better understanding of things that we can't easily comprehend. But statistics can be deceiving, especially when all the facts aren't readily available. But what were the chances that VCU makes a run from barely making the NCAA Tournament all the way to the Final Four? Florida Gulf Coast? Norfolk State? Odds are stacked against people all the time, not just in sports. You just have to find a way to curb the odds in your favor until you catch a break.

Overwhelming odds happen all the time in our daily lives. It's why Zac Efron's quote rings true for many professions, not just the entertainment business. But he's right, you can never take it for granted, you can never relax. There are always going to be a new crop of workers looking to knock you off of your spot.

For these reasons, a Zac Efron quote is relevant in an article about coaching basketball...and what are the odds of that?

Year 3: My First Final Four

Atlanta, Georgia....my favorite city!

Back in April, I decided to make the trek down to Georgia to take part in the NCAA Final Four festivities. As a coach, being at the final four is a big deal socially and professionally. The National Association of Basketball Coaches (NABC) holds their annual meetings during the weekend of the final four, so that comes with all kinds of meetings, seminars, and social events tailored to coaches. The biggest part in landing a job in the coaching field is your connections with your peers. These connections go a long way toward getting your foot in the door all the way to landing the job outright. With over 3,000 coaches in town for the festivities, the weekend is a must for those serious about advancing in the business.

The events begin on Thursday, and conclude with the national championship game the following Monday. I arrived Thursday evening with a "Young Coaches Social" at a local bar set to begin at 6:30. The weekend didn't start off as planned, as it was 6:15 and I was still sitting in traffic, a couple exits away from my hotel. I decided to call a cab service to have them meet me at my hotel and take me to the event.

Months prior to the event, my fellow assistant at Emory & Henry made the reservations for the hotel I would be staying in for the weekend. I had no clue what to expect, other than knowing it wasn't in the best of regions within the city. I arrived at the hotel at 6:35, parked my car and ran inside to check in. My plan was to throw my things in my room and meet the cab in the parking lot. The cab was already in the lot by the time I arrived and I asked him to wait for me for 10 minutes as I checked in.

I walk in the door, and a ragged-looking lady and a guy wearing all Jordan gear from head to toe are standing in line in front of me. The Jordan-clad man was growing restless with how long the clerk was taking to service them, so he started demanding his ID. Confused, I looked at the sign above the (assumingly bullet-proof) window that read "if you are a guest of a tenant, please leave your ID at the front desk." At this point, I knew I was in trouble.

A lady, who I can assure you wasn't in any danger of winning beauty pageants, stumbles out from behind a metal door, passing between myself and the mystery couple, almost falling out of the hotel front door. I don't have many options at this point, changing hotels certainly isn't one. It's final four weekend and every hotel has been booked solid for months. I'm also growing later for the social event I was scheduled to attend. Begrudgingly, I tell myself I won't be in the room much anyway, check in, throw my things in my room (smallest, most run-down room I've ever come across), and head out. On my way out, I'm walking down the halls and notice many of the doors on the hall are cracked enough to take a good look inside. I notice that in each of them there is either a woman, or a couple, laying on the bed, looking straight at the door. Only some of the rooms had the small, box television turned on, others just waited for "clients."

I finally get out of Hotel California only to find my cabbie has left me. Not wanting to go back into Hotel Rwanda, I decide to walk to the street corner to call the cab service again. While I'm on the phone, a dark red lowrider drives up beside me. The window rolls down and a guy with long dreadlocks starts to yell to me...

"Hey Buddy!!"

I don't acknowledge the guy, I'm clearly on the phone bro...

"Hey BUDDY!!"

I turn turn to him, give him a heads up, then go back to my phone conversation...

"Hey Buddy, you got a minute?!"

I finally ask him what's up, his response was "Ay man, where's your truck at? I got your stuff." I assure him I'm not who he thinks I am and go back to my conversation yet again. He drives off and I hang up, another cab on the way in 7 minutes. It's 6:48 and I'm very late.

Not 2 minutes after I hang up, another ragged lady comes by and asks me if I'm trying to buy. Not a fan of her sales pitch, I tell her no thanks. She leaves, making way for a couple walking in the opposite direction to approach me. The woman talks to her "man," and says "I bet THIS guy would like some." Now while they may fall for that pitch on the tv show Shark Tank, I wasn't intrigued.

7 minutes and I'm propositioned for drugs/sex 3 times...

Lowrider pulls back up, now with a passenger..."hey buddy! you sure you ain't want his stuff anyway?"

"I'm good..."

Make that 4 times...

The cab finally comes, drives me to the event, I have some much-needed drinks and an hour later I grab my things out of the hotel and beg my cousin to stay at her place (DURING the week of her wedding). Fortunately she's a saint and didn't mind to take me in, without even offering me a bump of cocaine.

I head back out downtown, determined to network and have a good time. I head to a couple bars with coaching friends and wind up having a good time. Despite the rough start, the rest of the weekend goes great.

Some highlights:

Attending some seminars/panels with many interesting coaches and new technology to help coaches

Dinner with alumni of coaching staff of Emory & Henry years past who have moved on to other schools

Concerts in the park (Zac Brown Band, Dave Matthews, Flo-Rida, Ludacris, Macklemore, Muse)

Division II and Division III final four

All of this while catching up with friends in and out of the coaching business, making some new contacts and having a great time. Unlike everyone else, on Monday as they were leaving to return home, I was staying in town for my cousin/concierge's wedding the following weekend. It was during this time that I got a chance to go play golf in Peachtree City, Georgia with my cousin's fiancee and his friends. By "play golf" I mean that we played best-ball and we used like 3 of my putts. Otherwise I spent 4 hours hitting boomerangs disguised as golf balls.

But easily the highlight of my time in Atlanta came when a college friend of mine caught up with me and asked me if I wanted to go to an Atlanta Hawks event. He is a season ticket holder, and they were having a function for the ticket holders at the arena. I got to shoot around on the court and take part in some skills events. I won the contests for Knockout and Free Throws, and came in second during the skills challenge. For my effort, they gave me two signed basketballs by Al Horford and Zaza Pachulia. Afterwards we got a free dinner in the clubhouse and some party gifts, a good time was had by all.

For the sake of my family, I should probably say the highlight was my cousin's wedding (it was actually fun)...so yeah, it was my cousin's wedding...

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Not bad for my first final four. Next year is in Dallas, Texas and I plan on being a little more prepared (and booking my OWN hotel). It's a great event, even if you aren't a basketball fan. If you can get tickets, I would highly recommend attending one. And if you can't get tickets, just become a college coach and get them for free!

Year 3: Adversity

Adversity is a mirror. Adversity has a way of letting you know exactly who you are. It reminds you what needs to be changed, removed and retooled. You can’t hide from adversity, it will find you in all aspects of life, not just on the basketball court. Adversity in basketball is most well-recognized on the court, during gameday. Everyone gets to see the struggle each team faces to win the game. But adversity can affect the game before it even happens.

A coach has many responsibilities, and if you have read my blog before, this isn’t a new concept. But sometimes these responsibilities pop up without any ability to prepare for them.

When I first started my new job in September, we had 20 players. Division III allows 18 players on a roster once practice begins, so we knew we would have to cut two of them anyway. The very first day on my job, one of our top players was dismissed from school due to a legal issue. Soon after, another top player from the previous season decided not to return due to health issues. After that, the hits kept coming…

Knee injury to our most talented player, played in 2 games all year…

Player quits due to personal issues…

Player transfers to be closer to family/home…

Player quits due to playing time…

Another casualty due to playing time…

Player transfers for a career opportunity in another field…

3 players booted for violation of team rules…

We gained a player in December who had sat out the first semester due to academic issues, but the damage was done, we were down to 11 players. One of the players had actually quit, then came back when there was more playing time available.

So…

Adversity…

It’s easy to look from the outside at our 4-21 record and think we’re one of the worst programs in the country, but you’d be wrong. This is a team who has faced more adversity than any other I’ve ever been a part of. Those who stayed didn’t ask for this situation. They didn’t ask for their teammates, their family away from home, to quit on them. They didn’t ask for some of their peers to stop coming to the games when they didn’t like the overall result.

What they DID do was fight. Every day in practice, they gave every bit of themselves that we asked of them as coaches. And what happened because of it was they got better…WE got better. The reason it didn’t show in the win/loss column was by the time we started clicking as a unit, we ran into the toughest competition we would face all year. The last half of our season, we faced 8 (out of 12) teams who have won at least 18 games (out of 26), three of which were nationally ranked at some point in the season.

It did show, in a big way, if you were able to watch the games. We led at halftime in 6 of those 12 games, but our lack of depth usually gave way to mental and physical fatigue, and the sheer talent of the other programs were able to take advantage.

It was because of this fight, that I would not trade this year for spending time with any other program instead of Emory & Henry. I grew close to this group of guys. We were the ones taking our lumps each night, growing closer, when the easy thing to do would be to point fingers and blame others.

The most gratifying thing, to me, is seeing the light click in a player’s mind when he realizes “why” you do the things we ask you to do them, and not just “how” to do them. You get to see them grow as basketball players and learn life lessons through the game. Every one of these guys will face adversity after their careers are over. This is not the last time life will deal them a crippling blow. Chances are, it won’t even be the worst case of adversity they’ll face. What you hope for as a coach, though, is that you’ve given them the tools to stand up and deal with that adversity the same way we dealt with it together this year; to stand up and fight; to never point fingers; to never whine and complain about what is wrong, and change it to make it right.

It’s easy to be on the other side. Winning is all I’ve ever known. I made a plan when I started this whole coaching thing to never associate with a losing program. But this year has made me grow more as a coach (and as a man) than I’ve ever done with anyone else.

I needed to lose. I needed to be humbled.

We did. And I was.

You begin to find out that the only way to fight through adversity is to stop re-stating the problem. You have to come to the table with solutions. Everyone knows the problem. Fans can even recognize the problems. But they aren’t paid to come up with the solutions (thank God). That job is left for the coaches.

As a coach you have to take ownership of the losses, and reflect credit for the wins. You take the hit with the media and the fans when you lose, and when you win, you praise the efforts of the players, and the energy of the fans. It’s just how it is, and I accept that, it’s part of the job. I do find it comical how many “answers” come from people outside the program, and how sure they are their idea will work. I don’t look down on them, it’s not their job to fix our problems. They’re doctors, lawyers, accountants, customer service reps, etc. and I couldn’t do their jobs either. But I did get some funny “fixes”

“Why don’t you teach them to shoot free throws better?”

“You should spend more time on defense”

“You should play zone…no one ever scores on a zone”

“Have you tried scoring more points than the other team?”

Ok, so I made that last one up (or did I?). But sometimes I wonder what the general public thinks coaches do all day. Take naps and fart?¹ It’s my job to spend the 24 hours I have each day thinking of ways to make our program better, just as it is your job to make sure your company is more efficient/productive/better/etc. And I’ve taken the steps throughout my life to learn and study from those who have done it the right way to make certain I’m doing my job, at the very least, as good as you’re doing yours.

Coaches will always have critics though, you can’t run from it. You have to embrace it. I don’t know how many times I’ve been put in a verbal headlock by a fan or parent (or my own family) about how to make my team better, and sometimes they do bring up great points, so you can’t discount them all. I’m always reminded, however, of a quote by Teddy Roosevelt…

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

Don’t be afraid to talk basketball with me (I know…fat chance now, right?). I do enjoy talking basketball at all times of the day. And if you’re particularly bold, I’ll even tell you why it is we do each thing we do and why we prefer that to other methods. Just don’t ever think we sit in the office and throw darts at a wall to come up with a plan. 

I only give you two pieces of advice if you wish to talk about my profession and why we do what we do:

Come with the knowledge that we don't make our decisions lightly. There's long hours of deliberation going into the smallest of decisions.

If you catch me after a loss, may God have mercy on your soul...

I won’t text my own mother back after some losses…ask her…I’m sure she’s reading this (Hi mom! Send $). I take my job seriously, and I treat each loss as a reflection of my abilities or inability to prepare my athletes. I’m not gonna ask anyone to prom on the bus ride home from a loss. (I’m 27…I’m not gonna ask anyone to prom…ever)²

The season is over. It is time to prepare for next year. Gotta get stronger. Gotta get faster. Gotta improve our fundamentals. But one thing we won’t have to teach during the off-season, is how to deal with adversity...

¹ _{– I’ve done both}

² _{– Except Kate Upton…but she isn’t returning my phone calls, texts or tweets… #HerLoss}